What a strange and wonderful year! I now promise to make this year stranger and more wonderful ... and to get an agent and sell a screenplay/TV show. Alright Universe, you heard me, let's work together on this one! What did you say you wanted? A sandwich? You got it! Now's let's rock it!

xoxo

If you want to lie in clover ... be prepared for bees ...

I had this kick ass Oscar party the other night, thanks to all the wonderful people I know and love - thanks guys but there was so much food left over that I was afriad would try to enter my body in a fit of sleep eating that I had to do something about it. I couldn't throw it away, that's just wrong, and I couldn't give it away to friends, as this is LA and everyone's watching their weight, or watching their spouses weight or some devastating combination of both ... so that left my cats or the homeless. I cleverly left a cupcake out to see if my cats would eat it, but they refrained from experimenting and continued their avid pursuit of sleep ... something they've been working on for the past 72 hours strait it seems.

Anyway I packed a bag and headed out into my neighbourhood Los Feliz there are usually a cluster of good old fashsioned hobos to set on fire around my area so I headed to their local haunts. The post office - the homeless send a lot of hate mail ... the 7/11 - and of course the Masonic temple (the Masons are a good natural fit for the Homeless) anyway none of my local lunies were at their stations throwing things, I was a trifle dissapointed that my good deed was to go unoticed ... until I spied the perfect guy, young ragged, care worn, filthy talking to himself, I marched up to him prepeared to foce my good whill on him, only to disscover mere seconds before impact that he was talking on a blue tooth and what I had taken for ragged decour was actually his hipster uniform! I had almost given free food to a hipster, those bastards don't need my charity, 

Anyway to make a long story short I found a sleeping bum and sweetly put some food next to him/her? Hard to say, maybe a bit of both. Then on my way home I saw Father Christmas had come early and was getting his drink on at the bus stop. I stopped to chat and he quickly asked me where my dog was? I don't have a dog so I just smiled and said hi would you like some food. He again asked me about the dog but quickly took the food and we parted on good terms. I went back home passing the Masonic temple and saw my usual homeless ex-trophy wife sleeping peacefully at the foot of the temple ... I wished I had something for her, and thought what I could bring her from home, but she suddenly sat up and yelled Fuck you Parcel Man ... then went back to sleep. I smiled and concluded I didn't have to bring her shit. The Masons would no doubt be feeding her poison bread crumbs soon enough.

Last night I had a horrible break down and just stood over my sink eating mindlessly, I wasn't even hungry, I was just trying to fill some strange gaping hole in side my chest. I don't know what I thought spinach dip would help that but at the time it felt right. It was a horrible moment to feel like nothing I do will ever fill the hole, like there's something wrong with me. I am generally such a happy person to have these bouts of utter loneliness and despair is awful. I feel like I drink, I eat, I talk, I have sex, I do everything I do to try and fill this void and nothing works so I have to do everything more so, so much so that it's a determent to myself and I'm still not satisfied, it's like I'm running out of feeling so have to push even harder just to squeeze an ounce of satisfaction out of anything,

I know it's the little things, but sometimes it takes too many little things to fill this hole inside of me.

For some reason this blog site has blocked me for the past year, perhaps it's afraid of what I might say! Either way I'm back and I'm blogging ... if anyone's reading lol?  I'm curious I can't remember do people get email alerts when I write something? Let me know if you get this?

Cheers,

r

Current Mood: amused

Is it better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all? ... Sometimes I wonder ...

I just went on a magical trip to no where literally - the Salton Sea - a dead Zone, filled with dead fish, rotting trailers, drop out, Jesus cults, and beauty. I loved it.

We went in what is traditionally knows as the off season, any where else in the world the summer landscape would signal the onset of tourists thrill seekers, kids and general summer vacation types, here it's dead - it gets so hot out in the California desert that they actually close the place up for summer, but  for us it was perfect - no one was there - tranquil, silent, dead sea - not even any wind.

the Salton Sea is a curious place, once used for mining salt, then when the Colorado River burst in the early 1900's and flooded the area the actual Sea was formed - saltier than sea water, very little save for the odd Telapia can survive there. 

They tried to revive the place and turn it into Atlantic city, with casino's resports, and restaurants all along the "sea" coast - but slowly the water kept rising and eventually engulfed the Sodom and Gamora of the west, and left nothing but skeletal remains of trailers, and bars, sticking out from the sand.

The New River runs into the Salton Sea - and it is said to be one of the most polluted in the world. The saline keeps rising in the water, and so do the pollutants, until the place is a lifeless sea in the middle of the high desert, surrounded by small dying towns like the former Tomato Capitol of the world, now just a withering den of depravity for tweekers and the very old ... 

The only sign of life all around us was the occasional pelican, dipping into the salty water to retrieve a dying fish ... bliss ... very strange place but you could see the stars at night and that is a rare treat in LA - not that I was in LA anymore - but still.

Staring up at a cloudless sky filled with dead stars, standing by a dead sea, some how made me feel very alive - in the end we will all be dust, but for now, I'm here and it's a beautiful thing.

Tags: dead sea, salt, salton sea, trip, tweekers, vacation
Current Location: Salton Sea
Current Mood: calm

Hey World I just joined a secret club called a Union - weird - and they only took a pint of blood and several thousand dollars from me - this is going to be fun! I love to pay for things I don't need - oh yeah health insurance is good - and of course protection - my union will break your unions legs.

They did give me a pension ( apparently I have to wait for my gold watch) - and life insurence - as I signed my name to the hallowed document the lady wearing red rimmed cat eyed glasses and a beehive - stared down her nose at me and intoned - Oh and if you're going to croak - do it at work ... they pay double.

Thanks God for small blessings !

I think when you plan on meeting someone you don't know, it's always best to ascertain before hand if they speak English.
Also when you go to meet someone and the first thing they say - in barely audible English is "do you wish to go to McDonalds?; That is your cure to turn and run.

Also a lump by any other name is cancer right? Lets hope it's just my deodorant making my armpits angry.

Also had a funny LA moment this weekend. This guy called me up, and left a message to the affect of - Hey this is so and so, and you answered an add for writers I  put on Craig’s list ... I think the middle of last year ... yeah well I'd really like to meet with you and discuss ideas"

9 months later are you kidding me? So naturally I met with teh guy – Joan’s on 3rd on a Sunday morning bad idea – every person in there had just fallen out of the pages of French Vouge and not bothered to wipe the Merlot from their upper lips.

Besides the crime against nature that is the scene there - I love the food and the guy I was meeting was cute in a Hobbit looking, sweater vest, turquoise ring wearing kind of way.

We sat down (finally) to talk and he had me sign a non-disclosure form - veyr official his ideas are clearly state secrets and it was very likely I was going to make off with them at any minute. He informed me that many of these ideas were based on personal experiences   and very dear to his heart. I made a mental note not to laugh ... out lowed.

He started out by saying that he had a lot of interest from investors and these were really Hot ideas, I mean Hot.<br /><br />I nodded enthusiastically as he fingered his dog eared not page, clearly deciding which of the hot ideas to amaze me with first, and if I was in fact even worthy to contemplate the genius that he had come up with.

He finally got into it - and told me one story. OK it starts out in a little Italian hotel, there's this couple ...&nbsp; when he was finished I said and? And what? Oh that's it? I'm sorry I thought that was just the set up or the first act.

He shuffled his paper nervously and said yeah well that one's not so developed yet. He had also failed to mention that the idea sucked - probably for the best that it wasn't that developed. Ok so the next one ... OK well it starts out in a little Italian hotel and there's this couple. I sat back, and waited for him to finish, mercifully this one was less developed than the first ...

He then conceded that a lot of his ideas were based on available locations ... or places he had, fond memories of his youth ... I&nbsp;gritted my teeth and prayed the list of 17 ideas may be beyond my comprehension and he would spare me them. He looked at me then and said OK ... THESE are the really hot ideas - I&nbsp; laughed out lowed - broken rule number one. What are you laughing abotu? Nothing I was just think it's funny, that now your'e saying ... here are the hot ideas ... he looked at me like I was nuts. I had clearly offended him.  I had to smile and feigned interest. He earnestly rattled off the rest of his ideas, and I&nbsp;noded and wondered when I&nbsp; could leave. In the end, I told him I'd think about it. I felt bad he seemed smart and nice, and cool, and I&nbsp;wish I had liked his ideas better, but such is life. <br /><br />The one thing I did get out of the experience besides a really good ham and bri sandwich was his amazing ability to sell himself. This guy managed to get me to think his ideas were great, even sought after before I'd even read one of them. The fact that he couldn’t; deliver was immaterial ... he had moxy and I like that, I need to learn the fine art of making peopel think my stuff is brilliant no matter how good it really is.

This is a key part of the puzzle that I have yet to master but I respect those who have... More to come.Back to work now ... stupid work ... whoever invented this commerce business is an ass.